le me, positively haunting

斬獲

最近貼子頻率明顯下降，事實上是因爲年關過後一直把自己弄得很忙，不過那是一種良性的忙，是身心都十分舒暢的忙（在說啥~~）。

回頭看去年，就好像是一個熱身，是在為今年（及希望往後）做準備，讓自己進入某種精神狀態，可以開始一點點地學會接受the more difficult pleasures of life。這並不是說simple pleasures不再有地位，只不過它們要稍稍挪挪位置，擠出一個空間，一個或許會越來越重要的空間。

這個過程，有一部分當然是我刻意想要的，但奇妙的是，我似乎在跟著一個無形的意識的引領，就好比，當你原地不動的時候，什麽都不會發生，而當你決定邁出腳步的時候，你會發現周身有許許多多過去看不見的門，看不見的路，看不見的契機，看不見的人。

我曾不止一次地感嘆過我的生命裏從來沒有出現過真正意義上的導師，發自内心地渴望有這樣一個人存在。雖然直至現在也沒有這樣一個人，但有時候我會感覺到冥冥中的某種意識的存在，某種固執的意願，某種繞了好大一個圈卻又還是繞回來的諸如命運之神的東西。或許，即使沒有實體的導師也不是這麽重要，我寧願相信在形而上的層面是有什麽在召喚的。

這是今天在book-off的斬獲。

買二手書遠比買新書有意思。有book-off這樣一家店真的很方便。這次是專門沖著canon類書籍去的，這都要拜Harold Bloom的the Western Canon所賜，有些評論此書的人就說過：看他的這本書的結果就是，他評一本，你就想迫不及待地去讀（重讀）一本，看來我也中了他的魔咒。斬獲的這幾本書幾乎每本都有上一個主人在空白出寫的筆記。我比較喜歡買有一些筆記的舊書，只不過，從這些筆記裏似乎也可以看出，之前的這些位主人們基本全都是為了應付學校的功課。這次最驚喜的是找到Byron的主要作品集，整本書，只有一首詩是看過並做過筆記的，明顯是學生應付學校的功課。可憐的Byron的其他的精彩詩篇都嶄新的無人去理會，那我就當作這本埋在其他名著堆裏的全集是專門在等我的吧。XP

My perfect perfect new year

Ingredients:

  Home-made dumplings

  Big pot of creamy soup with vermicelli, fried tofu, yam, egg-dumpling with shrimp filling

  Snow-covered woods and bushes

  Cats nibbling and meowing, all fattened up and extra-furry

  Blue Jays, Cardinals, sparrows and occasional woodpecker enjoying leftover catfood

  Holiday lights

  Lightly-scented thyme/fir candle

  Books, lots of good books

  And lastly, family in sight, doing everyday things~~~

first post of 2012

Christmas and New Year's Day passed just like any other day, blending into the continuous fabric of time.  And whoosh, we are swept into the "fateful" (? hopefully not) 2012. 

The phrase "New Year's Resolution(s)" had not even occurred to me until someone asked what I'm planning to accomplish this year. 

I've tried numerous times to "accomplish" things at the beginning of many new years in the past, those lists were ambitious, hopeful and invariably they ended up being cast aside and forgotten by the end of the second or third month.  Set feasible targets, achievable goals -- the advice of many.

Sure.  But as soon as I lay them out on paper, I might as well have spelt out their inevitable doom.  Plans are meant to go awry in my world.  So to counter that, I have decided to not make any concrete plans but only set a general direction and improvise as I go, and last year proved more than fruitful.  Of course I'm talking about my reading life, what else.

So I was skimming through the books I read and realized the choices were too haphazard.  But no matter, the entire year, now in restrospect, served to build up a nice rhythm, a sort of confidence at venturing into uncharted biblio-territory.  I remember I used to literally have "heartaches", not in the sentimental sense but an irksome sensation borne our of anxiety and lack of confidence whenever I picked up a book I didn't think I could finish.  Somehow, that never happened last year.  So I thought that was a good sign and good start. 

This year, the rule of thumb is this: more non-fiction choices.  A little bit of history, social science, popular science, biography (a category I've always loathed) and religion.  There, that sounds again like an ambitious cocktail.  And for fictions, well, when my head is about to explode, and I imagine I'll have many of those moments, I will resort to some "light readings" in that particular genre.

note to self: thoughts to be expanded on later

Some questions one can ask while reading Buttertea at Sunrise - A Year in the Bhutan Himalaya (by Britta Das)

• romance vs. reality: for those who take comfort and modernity for granted, buzz words such as "Himalaya", "Tibet" and "Silk Road" have a romantic ring to them.  But to local inhabitants who have nothing to fall back on and no other mode of living to choose from, might they be craving for the very things we want to get away from?
• modernization vs. natural living: we have come a long way to be where we are today, just so that we could get away from it all?  Ideal way of living, striking a balance...

素描一張




study of shades

 

Before adding shades

I have always been mesmerized by shades and shadows, the contrast between darker and lighter areas.  When I see good black and white photographs, especially portraits, there's a natural urge to do quick sketches, to try and capture those shades that create depth, perception, and various moods. 

This is a rather cursory sketch of a profile image of a man (an actor, actually).  This sketch was not planned.  I had collected a number of WoW pictures and was getting ready to do a fine drawing of Illidan, but then I came upon this picture and it took priority over all other plans. 

And I was sorting all my drawing tools the other night, checking on inventory and deciding whether I still need to stock up on anything (yeah, like I really need more pencils)...and here is what I found ...

I suppose I should make one thing clear: I DO NOT COLLECT COLOR PENCILS, unlike many who do.  I simply "need" all of them to complete my future projects.  (yeah, I'm not in the least bit convinced about that).